In this episode: Liesl Hays
In 2016, Liesl was BROKEN.
Her marriage was barely surviving, she was working sixty hours a week at her corporate job, and she was usually the last mom to pick her kids up from daycare. She was in crisis.
In a brave effort to CHANGE her life, she left a decade-long career in human resources and opened an Inn located in downtown Lee’s Summit, Missouri. Entrepreneurship taught Liesl the value of trusting her inner voice, setting boundaries, and balancing her work and family.
She has REARRANGED her life to live in alignment with her truest, most authentic self. In her latest evolution, she is an author, entrepreneur, and Human Resources Consultant.
Liesl runs on coffee, “to do lists”, and the belief life begins after you agree to write your own story. She lives in Lee’s Summit, MO with her husband Harlen, children Mady and Ethan, and her dogs Lily and Bear.
Her Book: Broken, Changed and Rearranged will be available for pre-order shortly: www.lieslhays.com/book
Janay Harris 0:01
You are listening to ordinary women extraordinary wealth with Marcy Predmore-McPhee. This is the show where we talk about how ordinary women achieve extraordinary wealth. We interview successful business leaders and entrepreneurs to learn about their journeys, discover what success means to them, and go over the various forms of wealth they've been able to achieve. And we'll learn all the best tips and tricks, you can start applying in your own life and career. While extraordinary wealth comes in a variety of forms, we don't neglect the financial side. And it's so important for women to feel comfortable talking about money. So in this show, you'll also learn how to put your money to work and keep your money in motion. And use your money to enjoy life today, without stealing from tomorrow. Be sure to like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you find this show valuable, make sure to share it with your friends and colleagues. And now, your host, Marcy Predmore-McPhee. McPhee.
Marcy Predmore 0:59
Well, good afternoon, everybody. We are so excited to have you here at ordinary women extraordinary wealth, and I am your host, Marcy Predmore-McPhee. It's such a joy for me to be getting to know these ladies, these entrepreneurs that I get to interview, they actually just impart such nuggets of gold to me, and I'm really excited for what you're going to get out of the interview that I'm going to do today, she has a pretty amazing background, from corporate to entrepreneurial, but family is her foundation. And I just really want you ladies to just take a few minutes. And just be quiet. And listen, if you have that opportunity. If you're in the car, that's okay, we just really want to impart that Liesl annise ordinary journey has become extraordinary. But we want you to share your extraordinary also. So today, I get to introduce Liesl Hayes. She actually, again, as I shared, she came from corporate into an entrepreneurial space, because she has a story that I think you'll all be interested in on how she came from here probably doing very well, very successful as the world would call it, to saying, Oh, my gosh, I don't think I can do this. She has a book broken, changed and rearrange. Now does that sound interesting? Or like a book that you would like to pick up? And just hear about, she actually, um, she actually, I'm starting over here Just a minute. She's an entrepreneur, and she's an author, I shared the book, she was an HR strategist, and is that today, I believe in the consulting world. She's a speaker, just to help women really understand again, that their journey is okay. Their journey is extraordinary. So Lisa, I would just love to introduce you. She is from Lee's Summit, Missouri, she has a husband and two children. And can you just fill us in on some of the blanks that I may be missed, because I know that there's people out in the audience that are going to really enjoy your extraordinary lately.
Liesl Hays 3:28
So Marcy, thank you so much for having me, it's really great to be here and to connect with some great women in this audience. So as far as anything that you missed, I will have to add that I have two incredible dogs. One of them is named Lily, and the other one is bear and they are, they're like my other two children. So they're part of our little family and our little tribe, and they are part of the balance that I they help bring balance to my life. So there's a fun little fact that I did not include in my bio. Good fact. So tell us just a little bit more. So you actually started in the corporate world. And again, I don't know your timeframe. So you can kind of fill us in there. But you started out in the corporate world. And it sounds like, you know, it was really a fast paced lifestyle. I don't know if that was pre children. I don't know what that is. But you actually had a turning point that you really probably have a lot of women that can relate to that. So let's just start with kind of your journey from corporate to where you are today. And then we're we are going to continue to fill in the blanks from there. Great. So Marcy, I spent about a decade in human resources and I had reached the point in my career. Where I was working 60 hours a week. And a lot of that mercy, you know, part of that was self imposed. I am an achiever by nature, I'm a giver, I want to help people. I'm the type of individual who likes to jump in and make things happen. I like to be, you know, a little bit of the martyr, right, who comes in and saves the day, puts my cape on and helps everyone achieve anything they need at any given point in time. And then a lot of women that can relate, I think there are a lot of women who can relate to that, right. So you know, that's where I was in my life. And then there's also this layer of the corporate life that that really incensed me to be that way. So I'm already kind of hardwired to achieve. But then the corporate life is rewarding me for being that martyr. And so 60 hours a week, trying to have a family, we had two small children at the time. And I always tell people mercy, I was the last person so frequently to pick my kids up at daycare. And I know moms can relate to that, like, we're looking at our watches, and we're like, I'm late again. And then they charge you, you know, for every single minute, you're late. Yes. So I know a lot of moms can relate to that. And I got to the place where I was throwing myself into my work, and it became my life. I remember being tethered to my phone, on vacations. I had a hard time being present in anything that I was doing. When I was trying to be a mom, I was half there. When I was at work, I felt guilt for not being with my kids. Like I, I think that was the hardest part for me is I didn't feel present in anything I did in my life. At that point.
Marcy Predmore 6:55
You know what I mean? I just really resonate, I'm a few years older than you, I'm past that stage. But when I was a mom, I was actually a single mom. And I know that there's a lot of moms out there that can relate to both you and I, when you look at that watch, and you're almost get sick to your stomach, because you know, I've got to get there, but yet I need to get this done, or, you know, or this is important, but they're just as important. And sometimes we have a hard time really balancing that out. And again, I just want to share with the audience of women, especially you entrepreneurial women, it's okay. You know, we we've been there. And I think we're going to hear a little bit more about Lisa's book in kind of what created the topic of the book, but where she finally just was empty, there. There just wasn't much left. And I think people can relate. But it's still okay, because there's somebody out there can relate exactly to where you are at the moment. So, Lisa, let's just talk. Um, I've got a few questions that I like to ask. They're a little bit broad, but I just want you to just share with the audience, what does success mean to you? I thought about this long and hard, because I think that we all have, you know, you say this Farsi, we all have different versions of success, right? We all, we all define it differently. And for me at this current iteration of who I am right now, Success to me is all about me being able to show up for people in a way that is energizing for them. It's energizing for me. And I feel like a big part of that is me creating balance in my life. But that is success for me is me showing up and being able to be the best person I can in that moment for whoever I'm with and whoever I'm engaging with. Yeah. And you know what that is so true. We saw and, and I think so many times we go to a dictionary, and we look at that word, or the world actually puts a meaning on a word. And we all think that that's just typical and normal. And, again, there's some questions that I ask at times, is how did we grow up traditionally thinking about money from our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, the reason I asked that question is because I want you to realize that we grew up with a traditional thought of success, or a wealth. And I just love hearing other women share with me what success means to them, because it isn't just one word. It isn't just one meaning. So I really do appreciate that success. Because I think Liesl if we actually looked at your journal, from then to today, it was all a success. It was all extraordinary in so many ways. But it was the journey of success, not the success. So I love that.
Liesl Hays 10:08
And I Marcy, I love what you're saying it's the journey as well. It's not necessarily this endpoint, but it really is a journey that flexes right.
Marcy Predmore 10:19
And, you know, as we talk about the journey, in 2016, Liesl actually had, again, probably the emptiest time it appears in her life. And I'm gonna read this a little bit, I'm gonna also have her share that because again, it's so important. Her marriage was barely surviving. She was working, as she said, 60 hours a week in a corporate job. She was usually that mom that picked up her kids late as she shared, that you know what she has she she, in a brave effort to change your life, she left a decade long career. But then the next step, she has rearranged her life to live in alignment with her truest, most authentic self. And Lisa, I really want to focus on that truest, most most authentic self for just a minute. Because, again, you remember the energy of that rat race? And you know, many women that are still there in that place, from there to here? What can you help our listeners? How can you help them understand that? And is it in the book? Can they? Can they feel that progression in the book?
Liesl Hays 11:35
Definitely. And that's a really good question. And I'm going to, I'm going to talk to your audience a little bit about it, too, because I think it's important. So I think, you know, so often, we really adhere to traditional versions of success. And when I say traditional versions of success, here's what I mean, when we layer on what we believe success to be from either how the world defines it, how our parents define it, how people outside of ourselves define it, sometimes we start to wear these versions of success and happiness and prosperity that actually don't belong to us at all. We are right, we're all uniquely made, we're all uniquely wired. And it's important that we really dig deep and get in tune with ourselves and figure out what does success look like for liezl. Because success is going to look different for liezl, than it is for Marcy, than it is for Jill than it is for all of us. And we have to really define that for ourselves. And I think that was the critical part of my journey. My breaking point was that I had defined my life based on for so long what other people wanted for me, and not necessarily what I wanted for myself, boy, you hit the nail on the head. Yes. Yes. That, you know, I think there's I bet you there's a lot of nodding heads in the audience today, on that. I truly love that Liesl. And you know, as we were talking about Foundation, we're talking about success and corporate to entrepreneurial to family. Tell me just a little bit. Well, let me go. I'm gonna back up for a second. One of my other big question is, what does wealth mean to you? So wealth, to me is balance in all things. So one of the things that I really struggle with in being an achiever is giving so much of myself to all the things that matter to me, I go all in. And I have to make sure that I have balance in all things in my life. And that doesn't mean that when I'm at work, I don't show up and give 100% when I'm at work, right. But it also affords me the ability in the evening to be able to say, I'm done at 530. And I'm, you know, on Friday, some it's four o'clock, right, like I'm done this work is it's not, I'm not going to let it you know, infiltrate all the things, I'm going to stop answering emails, I'm going to stop, you know, feeling like I need to be on. So I think for me, wealth is true balance when it comes to the things that actually matter to me, love it. And so that's how I define I personally define wealth.
Marcy Predmore 14:38
I absolutely love and, and again, it just builds on the success Foundation, is if you don't have balance, if you really don't, aren't able to. I'm just going to stick with the word balance. If you don't have that balance, then again, you're out of balance. So things aren't smooth. They're not natural. They don't just All into place. And when we have families we know that we have to have that time to. And speaking of what does a day in the life of Lisa look like today in your entrepreneurial world?
Liesl Hays 15:15
Well, a day in the life of Liezel usually starts out really early. And I have found one of the things that I really need. So I am an introvert. And I have this amazing, incredible family that demands a lot from me when they wake up. And so for me getting up early at 5am is one of those things that I do for myself. Yes, it is my quiet time, it is my soul searching time I literally sit wrapped up in a blanket and I drink my coffee. And sometimes I sit by the fireplace, but I'm totally alone for the first two hours of the day before I wake up the kiddos before I get them off to school. And before I start my day, so my day is so different every single day, Marcy, that's the other thing that that is one consistent thing. Yeah. So sometimes I am at the end that I own. And I'm giving tours, and I'm doing event plans with brides. You know, other days are fully dedicated to my author life where I'm you know, getting resources on my website, I'm sending out marketing materials. So my days are always so different. Yeah. However, they always start with my quiet time. And they always end with me, shutting the laptop, because I oftentimes feel like our work and our lives are so blended with technology, with the pandemic, especially a lot of us are really working from home and balancing all the things. So for me, at the end of the day, I shut that laptop down, and I put it away and I clear off my kitchen desk. Yeah, just so that way, I feel like there's the separation of my work in my life. Oh, gosh. And that is just so true. And it sounds like now, do you all live at the end that you're that you run? No. And that really helps with the balance? So no, we don't live on site at the end we own so I'm able to really come home and separate those two worlds, which is really helpful for me. So yes. Oh, and Marcy, my day usually ends with a bubble bath, I will tell you, it doesn't matter what the season is. People will say to me, they'll come in my house, and they'll say, do you really use that tub. And I'm like, every day like that was not I use that tub every day. And it just I love indeed my day that way too. Because it's just I relax, I unwind, I try and clear my mind. And then I'm ready to go make dinner and be with my family.
Marcy Predmore 17:54
You know, and really, there's a lot of times that you do need to treat yourself to those little gifts. And I know I'm the same way I don't have children at home anymore. But my husband and I both love we we both wake up super early, I don't necessarily always get up as early as he does. But I wake up early. So again, I start with gratitudes with just the process of you know how many amazing things that happen yesterday or last week or whatever I'm thankful grateful for. And I really think sometimes you need to calm your spirit before you take that next step, really to prepare you and even this morning, I just I did this. I read this earlier. But I read from one particular book, I read a page and a half every 30 days for 30 days. And so I know that sounds crazy, because you're reading the same words over and over. But it's amazing how many words will just pop right out at you and you just read them yesterday or the day before. But today I was doing my reading and trying harder. It popped out at me. And then it says Ironically, the struggle is part of the trap. When you're trying harder. And you know, we were talking about that corporate world where you continue to try harder. But when you do gather your thoughts and you have that time for you and yes, it might have to be 5am if that works for you or that bubble bath time, if that works for you. Because it's so important to balance your own spirit, your own heart. When you have a husband and a family of business to run. It sounds like you do a lot of weddings and special occasions with that's important to their people. So I just I love that visual of what you do every day. That's pretty awesome.
Liesl Hays 20:01
But you hit the nail on the head on something. And I think, I think many of us as women are conditioned to be selfless. And it's like being selfless is the ultimate compliment for a woman. Oh, she's so selfless. And at the end of the day, what we don't realize is that being selfless actually leads us to burnout. Like I was the queen of selflessness in my former corporate life, like, I was everything to everyone. I would do anything you needed at any given point in time, I was checking my emails whenever you need it. I was the queen of selflessness. And the number of times I heard that compliment, Marcy, it's too many to count. But the reality is, is that I wasn't able to actually give to people from a heart of, of love and happiness and joy. Like I resented people when I give to them. I resented them for asking things for me. I resented them for just allowing them to take advantage of me, right? I was like, well, they're taking advantage of me, they're sucking on purpose. But in reality, it was my inability to say, Hey, you know what, Lisa is important enough to prioritize? And then I can give from a place of health, right? It doesn't mean I'm not a giver. It doesn't mean I don't help others. But I do it from a place of energy. That is joyful in that giving, right? Because I do prioritize myself. Yeah. Yeah.
Marcy Predmore 21:40
And you know, I have a saying, and I say it all the time, from the front of the room when I'm speaking and even when we do webinars, but if you don't put your own oxygen mask on first, you're truly not going to be able to give graciously or freely, because you don't have it to give, you're not, you're not in a stable enough place to give. So put your own oxygen mask on first. So then you can help others around you. And I think that's really what you're saying is, you actually been given the gift of you, you know, that you need to take care of you because you lived in a life where you didn't. And so tell us just a little bit about now broken, changed and rearranged. And it's it's published, but isn't out yet. Where can people get the book?
Liesl Hays 22:35
Great question. So you can pre order the book, if you want to it is available now. You can pre order it on liezl hayes.com slash book, or you can google it on Amazon, I mean, you can go onto Amazon, that is a super quick and easy thing. Because I know we all love, we love Amazon. And then it's actually the E book is going to be released in September, and then it will actually hit the bookshelves in December this year.
Marcy Predmore 23:02
Great. So I just really would encourage you all Liesl has a very, very lovely website. It's got so much information, but it's got a lot of personal love to it. So when you go to it, it just has a very generous feel. So go to Liesl, Hayes calm, and the other one is the browning ls.com. So either one of those, but I would just encourage you to do that. So let's go into just a couple more questions, because I think it just helps people relate. And as I shared with you, before we came on the podcast, mentors have always been super important to me in my growth. And I really feel like that if we all realize that we all need a mentor. I don't care how little you make, how much you make, how educated you are, how uneducated you are, we all need mentors to help us grow. But we've all had mentors that molded us. So Liesl, tell me just a little bit about a mentor in your life. If you can think of one or two that at first helped molded you and then who do you look to today?
Liesl Hays 24:19
Good question. So I will tell you this. I am an introvert. So a lot of times my mentors come to me in books. And so I want to tell you a couple of ones that have just had an absolute impact on my life. So Glenn Doyle is a New York Times bestselling author, she wrote a book called untamed. She's written several books. And she really helped me when I was struggling and going through crisis. And I remember when I was in crisis, mercy, I had burned so many bridges with so many people that I loved because I was just I was in a terrible place. Yeah, and I did. feel like I could reach out to people because I didn't feel like I had anything to offer them. I felt like I was unlovable. I felt like no one could handle my crisis. And I will tell you that there is this incredible blog that Glennon wrote about the day after she decided to get sober. And it has a lot of really great crisis themes in it, where I'm reading through this blog, and it feels like she's whispering truth into my life. So Glennon, for me, has been a mentor that I haven't personally known. But I've had the ability to know her through her words. And we're very similar people. And so it's helpful, you know, not that all of our mentors have to be similar, because I highly recommend finding mentors who think differently than you to, but having one in your corner that's like you and can relate to you and understands you, and can speak your language is also important as well. So she has been a significant mentor for me in my life. And then as far as other ones really today. So for me today, I have a mentor, her name is Melissa, she's a good friend. But we often joke Melissa is very similar to me. And she always says in 10 years I can I can help you with where you need to go because we are so similar. And what's what's great about Melissa, is we have the ability to sit down. And we've built this trusting relationship where I can bounce ideas off of her, I can ask for her feedback, she can tell me when I need to find somebody else to talk to about something. So you know, Marcy, I agree with you. mentorship is so important for all of us, because it helps us grow. And it helps us move to that next phase in life that we're meant to be in. And, and we need those people and introverts and extroverts to like, you know, mentorship in books is incredible. It's awesome to find authors or speakers that you relate to. But you know, also important to have those ones that really know you intimately and can hold you accountable to the things that they see in your life, too.
Marcy Predmore 27:16
Oh, gosh. And I, I really, and I try to stress that to people too, because people ask me all the time about my mentors, one of them is alive, his name is Bob Proctor, but he's the one that encouraged all of us to reach out. And he said, they don't have to be alive, it could be an author, it could be somebody from the past, it could be somebody that you just resonate with their journey or, or their message that they had to share. And the reason I asked that question and then like to bring it up, is because I really feel like sometimes either a couple different things happen, you get too busy. You don't pick up a book, you don't listen and to the podcast now are so prevalent. I mean, there's so many different podcasts out there, there's so many different YouTubes that you can listen to on self help. But when you find somebody, it just it just really, it grows you just a little bit, it's not just listening to one more thing. So first of all, they don't have to be alive. But second of all, a second mentor to me talks about repetition. And I'm just going to share repetition for just one. Second is what Lisa was saying to for her. Those mentors helped get her through a time in life. And now she has a personal mentor who is practically in her life, that they actually walk this journey together. For me, I read a chapter every day for 30 days. And the more repetition, the more you read it, the more you talk to your practical partner, the more you The more you really focus and become aware of your mentors and their wisdom in guiding you, the more it just kind of falls into place naturally, instead of having to work so hard at it. So that's just my little take on mentors. So I appreciate, you know, just you sharing, again, honestly, where you're coming from from a very broken place, but to a very rearranged place. So I have to go back to that one more time because it made me think about it when we first talked so broken, changed and rearrange. How did that I mean, how did that title come about? Was that kind of an epiphany or was that just kind of you looking through life and saying, Oh, these were this steps?
Liesl Hays 29:58
You know, it was one of those things I had a very hard time figuring out what to call my book. And I remember going back through the manuscript multiple times and just feeling kind of lost says, What is this? Like? What should I call this? What's going to relate to people. And ultimately, you know, I started to realize that my book was really broken into three parts. And it was really three parts of a journey that I had been through, of being broken, becoming change, and then eventually just rearranging my life into this beautiful order that that now exists for me. But in reality, I really think Marcy, I started to realize, you know, at any given point in our lives were either broken, changed or rearrange, and, and not everyone is in the place where I don't want to say broken in the sense of, you know, I was in crisis. So there was a lot that was broken about me that I needed to fix. But I think we're all we all go through different periods in our lives, where we're able to say, you know, what, this thing over here is broken. And it's not really working. Like it's not, maybe it served me at one point in my life, but it's not serving me now. And it's not working. So what do I need to change to get to a place where, you know, I'm feeling in alignment with the next evolution of who I'm supposed to be? So I think it's kind of a phase we all go through where we're either broken, changed or rearranged in some capacity. And you know what, I plan to go through those cycles multiple times again, however, I don't, I don't ever plan to go through the level of crisis, the self imposed crisis that I went through. But I think now that I've iterated like those, those phases are going to be a little bit less extreme. Right? Yes.
Marcy Predmore 31:51
Yeah. And really, just exactly that. And I just love the broken changed. And the rearranged. I think, as I think about my journey, and as you just shared your journey from one extreme to the other, we all have a journey, we we all have something that we can look in the rearview mirror, as we've all been told. And then as you look out the front window, where we're heading, sometimes we think that it didn't, it didn't get us to where we are today, but it is your journey, it is your journey. And again, I just think it's okay to really what's the right word, celebrate the brokenness, and the changed pneus. And the rearrange mess, because each phase is beautiful. It is it really is. And I think that's what I'm just relating to you right now is, is all three of those is, is their success in their own right, even though at times you felt like, you know, you're at the bottom, but their success in their own right. They're extraordinary in their own right.
Liesl Hays 33:07
I agree. And, you know, I think I say this a lot. But I think our culture, oftentimes, we kind of glorify, you know, all of the brighter and happier emotions, like joy and happiness. And those are incredible things to experience. And they're important parts of our life and the human experience. But sometimes what we fail to realize is that, you know, pain is an equal teacher to joy. And that, that doesn't mean that it's easy to walk through, because pain is it's hard to walk through. And if I had to pick between joy and pain any day, I would obviously pick joy, right? Yep. But the reality is, is that pain is still meant for us. Yeah. And it's still meant to teach us what it is meant to teach us in that moment. And while we I try now with pain to sit in the moment, and, and I embrace it. Now, I don't wallow in it, but I embrace it. And I say, you know, pain is meant for me. What is this pain trying to teach me? And and what is the next version of who I'm supposed to be? from experiencing an emotion that all of us are meant to experience in our lives? So yeah, I think that's, that's important that we allow ourselves to feel pain and to learn from it and to move forward from it. But we have to experience it.
Marcy Predmore 34:34
Oh, I, you know what, I think it's just part of life. I think it is part of life's journey. And again, I love the word joy. It's just I tell people all the time to have a joyful day. Because joy is it's not necessarily happy all the time, but it's just an exuberance for that moment for that day or for what's coming or for what's past. What you been blessed with. And I have truly been blessed today by just listening to your story of broken, changed and rearranged. I just I'm so anxious to get the book just to relate to your story because I just truly think so many people can. And I'm going to encourage people, again, Liesl hayes.com, I really want you to go take a look at her website. And I believe Lisa, are you also do you have some social media on Instagram liezl dot Hayes and then Facebook, Lisa Hayes author, and is that a group or a page? That is a page. So yes, you can just go out there and like it, and it is open to anyone. That's great. And then today, of course, in our show notes will have the name of the book, we'll have some of these links. But I would encourage all of you, if anything resonated with you today, in Liesl story, I would just really encourage you to go to her website, get the book, if you would like to even visit with her, I would reach out to her I would you know, if you don't ask, you don't know what that answer is going to be. And she and I are both here to say to you women, you might think you're extraordinary or ordinary, but you are truly extraordinary. And that's really I want to hear your story. Just like Lisa, if anybody wants to come on to the podcast, we would just love to have you. And we would love for you to subscribe to ordinary women extraordinary wealth, podcast, and also our group. But recently, if we could just give the audience one last nugget of gold. What would that be today?
Liesl Hays 36:52
Never forget the importance of your deep why's and inner voice. sink in and allow yourself to hear her because she's still there. She is wise. And she's still there to give you guidance. Always. Always.
Marcy Predmore 37:13
I just yeah, I had to sit for just a minute and, and feel that and listen to that. And, you know, we just came away from Mother's Day. And I know, many of us still have our moms some don't. But you know, as you were saying her Of course you need to really listen to your own voice. But we all had some amazing women to stand on their shoulders, and you know, just really helped us to tower over life due to their journey. And it just just reminded me of our Mamas and that journey with them to how they've been examples. But I just love that thank you for thank you for your heartfelt words for just being real in your journey, and helping other women really shine that light on their extraordinary. Thank you We so so much for being here today.
Liesl Hays 38:12
Thank you for having me. Mercier. Really appreciate it. I really enjoyed this conversation. You bet and we will love to have you come back especially if you come to my neck of the woods, which we talked I would love to get to meet you live face to face. So you have an extraordinary day.
Janay Harris 38:32
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