In this episode: Deborah Driggs
From her start as a Playboy Centerfold and Covergirl to her life as a Screen Actors’ Guild member and later, achieving the Top 5% in her industry as a member of the Million Dollar Roundtable, Deborah Driggs has had to clear many hurdles in life. While it may seem like Deborah’s success came easy to her, nothing could be further from the truth. Rather, she has had to overcome a number of challenges in life to get to where she is today. What is true - and a part of her character - is her willingness to take risks, maintain a positive attitude, and never take ‘No’ for an answer.
Janay Harris 0:01
You are listening to ordinary women extraordinary wealth with Marcy Predmore-McPhee. This is the show where we talk about how ordinary women achieve extraordinary wealth. We interview successful business leaders and entrepreneurs to learn about their journeys, discover what success means to them, and go over the various forms of wealth they've been able to achieve. And we'll learn all the best tips and tricks you can start applying in your own life and career. While extraordinary wealth comes in a variety of forms, we don't neglect the financial side. And it's so important for women to feel comfortable talking about money. So in this show, you'll also learn how to put your money to work and keep your money in motion. And use your money to enjoy life today, without stealing from tomorrow. Be sure to like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you find this show valuable, make sure to share it with your friends and colleagues. And now, your host, Marcy Predmore-McPhee. McPhee.
Marcy Predmore 0:59
Okay, I am super excited today. It's a beautiful day outside in the Rocky Mountains where I am. And I get to interview a woman today that I think you are really going to be intrigued by her journey. And you know, we here at ordinary women extraordinary wealth, I have a heart for entrepreneurial women, and just hearing your journey hearing where you thought you were ordinary, but you've achieved your extraordinary because I know you are. And I love sharing the journey. So today, I get the joy of introducing Deborah Driggs. And she has just from the little bit that I have gotten to chat with her she has a fabulous journey to share from one spectrum of life to another spectrum of life. So I'm going to read just a little bit about her, and then she's going to kind of help us fill in the blanks. But from her start, as a playboy centerfold and cover girl to her life as a Screen Actors Guild member, and then top rated insurance professional, Deborah has had to clear many hurdles in life to make these things happen. And while it may seem like Deborah success came easy to her, nothing could be further from the truth. Rather, she has overcome a number of challenges in her life to get where she is today. But what is true? And part of her character is her willingness to take risks, maintain a positive attitude, and never take no for an answer. I love the last part, never take no for an answer. And Deborah is involved in she's an insurance specialist, we're going to hear just a little bit about her current career. She's also an author and a motivational speaker. And near and dear to my heart. She's a mama of three children. And right now she is she'll beam I'm sure when she talks about her children, which I do too. But I am just so excited Deborah to have you here with us today. So I'm filling some blanks that I
Deborah Driggs 3:17
thank you so much. Thank you for that beautiful introduction. And thank you so much for having me and allowing me to share my journey. I love what you're doing and what this is about ordinary women thinking that they're ordinary, really, and then all of a sudden, blossoming into extraordinary women. And, and that is really, really part of my journey that is and so it's beautiful to be here. Thank you so much
Marcy Predmore 3:45
that you bet. Well, Deborah, tell us just a little bit. So your journey, as we talked about kind of is from one spectrum to the other. And as you moved through it, so many people look at it from the outside, or from the inside out at your life and say, Oh, she had it easy. It really happened easy for her. Tell us just a little bit about the snippet of your journey.
Deborah Driggs 4:11
That's exactly right. You know, I it's funny that you started with that, because I've had people come up to me and say, Wow, you always look like you have it so together. Especially if I would say things like I'm just really down right now or you know, I just like nothing, you know, or if I went through a breakup or you know, whatever it is that you know, you go through sometimes and it seems so difficult. And people would say really, you you always seem to have it so together. And I thought well, I need to write about my journey. Because it is we do judge from the outside. We do judge from what appears to be success, but nobody really knows that road. What happens in the dark, so to Speak of how you get to that success, it all looks great when you, you reach those Pinnacle points in your life that are like, I just made a million dollars or I just got a role on a TV show. Or I just met the man of my dreams and everything. Nobody understands the work. And the sleepless nights and all the panic and anxiety and hard work and grind it took to get there. And so that's why I think it's interesting that you started with that, because it you know, it is an outside thing that we're looking at like, well look at that. Look how successful that person is. Look at all that look at how many followers they have. Look at look at how, look at them, look at their marriage, it's so perfect. Look, you know, everything is about looking at. And really that's a big change and shifted my life at my age. Now I don't look at any of that. Because through all my experiences throughout the years, the thing that I realized is that we all go through these difficult times. And you never know who's who's going to have a difficult time Next, like nobody would have ever expected me at 40 years old to be broke divorced with three kids no career No, no vision. Yeah, I had no idea what the heck I was gonna do. And I had people telling me all the way through my 20s and 30s Oh, my God, you have the perfect life. Everything comes so easy. Everybody wants to date you. You married the man of your dreams, you have three kids, you know, everything looked a certain way. Yeah. And I think really, for me at 40 to be in that position. I read about this too, by the way on my website, launched yesterday, and I'm going to be blogging once a week. And my first blog is titled the hard truth. And it literally talks about this being 40 no money, three kids, no career. I didn't have career skills. I was an actress. I was modeling. I was on the cover of Playboy, you can't write that on a resume. No. Those things might seem extraordinary. But on a resume, resume, nobody cares. It's like, okay, I can't really use that to go work in an office atmosphere or to get a job in a in a business. In the business world. It doesn't matter what I did in the 80s and 90s. And so now I have to reinvent myself and I have to start over. And I the skills that I did have. I really didn't realize until I started getting my my momentum back. You know, I had so much optimism and adventure and like, yes, spirit in my 20s and 30s. Yeah, so if you told me, never we're gonna run a marathon. I'd be like, yes. Or, you know, I got really deep into adventure racing at one point. And that was crazy. It was like, eco challenge type stuff. And people were like, you know how difficult that is? I was like, Yes. And I just did it. You know, just did it. I showed up at my first race. Totally green didn't know what to expect. got totally beaten up, but I did it. And that was the kind of attitude I had. And then all of a sudden, something shifted in my 40s where I completely lost all confidence. Well, optimism, I was dreading leaving my house. This was not me. I I just felt like I want to go out and talk to people. I just felt like all of a sudden now.
I had not I just didn't have anything or any vision. I my vision was so blurry. That's the only way I can describe it. You know, it's like I had on such a messed up pair of glasses. And the way I was looking at the world was so contorted. It was just messed up. And my thoughts were spinning and I was going through a divorce and I was just brought to my knees basically. Now, how does that happen? to somebody who grew up with all these dreams and ideas and people told me I wasn't going to model and model people told me you can't be an actress. You know how hard it is to be in the entertainment world. 1000s of girls are trying to be an actress. You know, that's that's ridiculous. You need a real job, you know, and then I did that I got my Screen Actors card. I worked on TV. I hosted a I was a vj I hosted a morning show. You know, all the things that people do American I was like, I could do it. I lost that spirit. Oh, where did it go? And it took me a long time really to find it. And that's, that's really what I talk about a lot is that journey of getting back to your most authentic self, and I had lost it completely. Like, I just got so far away from it. And I, you know, it's so funny when I got divorced, I didn't know what I liked. I didn't know what I like to do, I didn't know that I, it was really hard for me to go sit in a restaurant and eat by myself. I don't think I've ever done that my entire life. And it was like, all of a sudden, I was like, growing up really in at the age of 40. It was, I don't even know what I liked people go, Well, what do you like to do? And I'd be like,
Unknown Speaker 10:50
Deborah Driggs 10:52
I was confused about everything. Yeah, I was like, well, I used to do this. And I used to do that all of a sudden, my sentences started out with like I used to, you know, and I completely lost it. So that's the journey. And so cutting to, you know, after my divorce, I had to figure it out. And I we had moved to Park City, Utah, it's small town, outside of Salt Lake City. And the thing to do, there is real estate. So I got my real estate license. And I remember, you know, I had, I was smart enough to know that I wasn't going to start a business with three young children. And I had no money to start a business. So I thought, you know, I'm gonna work with the best realtor in Park City and just learn the business. So I interviewed with the three top guys, they just happened to be men not being prejudiced, you know, because there's plenty of amazing women but the top the top guy, they were, you know, and just like Michael pay, and Richard fine and, and somebody else and and so I called them and I said, Would you meet with me, I'd really like to be your assistant. And a couple of them said, we're not looking, I'm not looking for an assistant that rich fine met with me. We had breakfast. And he said, I am looking for an assistant. And he said, Here's I said, Well, here's the deal. I gotta be honest with you right up front. I've never worked in an office, I can barely send an email. I'm, I know nothing about working in an office. I just passed my test. But you know, if you show me I'll you know, work really hard. And he goes, are you good with people? And I went, Yes, I am. I'm really good with people. And he goes, I have 30 listings. And I need somebody who can call the clients give them updates. Basically, he wanted me to be a babysitter to his clients. Yeah, if you think about it, because he was burned out. Anyway, I started working for him. And it all worked. I was taking care of all the calls, the people, you know, the difficult situations. And he was showing me how to do everything in the office. And the momentum, we just had such a great momentum. And I started doing really well. And, you know, because I became such good friends with all of his clients, now our clients, and taking care of the listings, I would sit the open houses. And so that lended me the opportunity to now meet all these people coming in. And people come up to me and say, I want you to list my house. And I go great, I go look at their house. And I come to the office with a $2 million listing. And I remember I'd go up to the girls in the office and I would say I don't know how to do that thing. You know, this big scanner machine thing. Can you just show me I forget which button to push and I need to get this to email to my scanner to email it to my email. They just laugh. They know what you get. I go it's like a $2.6 million listing. I get the listing. I don't know how to scan the paperwork, you know, and that was my story. That's a true story. Like I didn't know how to work the scanner, but I knew how to get a $2.6 million listing. Those are the skills that I had because I told those people I will sell this house Yes, you will succeed and I will do whatever it takes to sell your house. And so I I had we had such a great relationship and then in 2008 unexpected events in the world. The market took a crash first market to go my market second home luxury multimillion family homes are now nobody wants. So now I'm back to the drawing board. What do I do now? I'm an assistant. People were they don't need assistance right now. There's no houses selling. You know, nobody's buying a multimillion dollar home and a ski resort town. So I just started over a minute got really bad 2008 got really bad. I had no money. Again, I was barely getting by with the three kids. So I had to switch my, my role. My ex was living in California and I had to say you'll have to take the kids. I had no money, couldn't pay my rent. And I had to go live with my mother in Ocala, Florida. And it was like, I'm 4445 years old, and I'm going here we go again. I have no money. I'm now living with my mother and a 55 and over community in Ocala, Florida.
Then I don't want to get out of bed. Yeah. Mainly because I really felt that was probably the worst failure. My divorce was bad. But having my kids have to go live with their dad. Oh, my God, because my whole world revolved around being a full time mom. Yeah. And I just that was it. For me. It was like I What, what's the point? What's the point? You know, I failed my kids. What's the point? And so I just didn't even want to get out of bed. And by the way, I didn't for like two weeks. I didn't even want to get out of bed. I was in such self pity such for me a world sucks, you know, was in that really downward spiraling, low vibrating energy. And then one day my mom came in, and she's like, Can you walk the dog for me? And I was like, Okay, great. Let's go walk the dog. Whoo. And I took the dog for a walk. And I started to meet the people in her neighborhood. And I know this is gonna sound so silly. But you know, I started to get to know their names. And they would say things to me, like, Oh, my God, your mom is so lucky that you're here to visit, you know, our kids never come and visit. And then they'd say, you know, what's it? How is it? We love your mom and they loved her my mom's dog. And then I got to know their dog's names. And then I got to hear all the drama, you know, that they have in their family, how their kids don't come and visit. And then I got to hear about their health issues. And how, you know, some of them had really serious health issues. And every day I'd get up now and I'd say, Hey, Mom, I'm gonna go walk the dog. Because I had it was like I was in a soap opera, I had to go and meet my new friends, and make sure they were okay. And find out about the dogs. And then I'd report back to my mom every day about the dogs and it was like, but what those people didn't realize is that they were saving my life. Yes, they were on our Yeah. Yeah, they were taking me out of this my head. Yeah. And they were, you know, all of a sudden, I was being of service to something outside of my self pity. And my Oh, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. You know, that stuff that so does nobody any good, right? And I started to get the pep back in my step. And I started getting up and I started going online, and I started creating a resume. And then I you know, when that happened, when that momentum started, I had a friend reach out from New York. And he said, You need to come for the weekend. And I said, No, I'm not in a good headspace. You know, I'm living with my mom, I have no money. He goes off by you. And I'll fly you in depth. You need to come into New York and you need to remember who you are. I'll fly you in you come see your friends. And he did. He flew me and he paid for my hotel. You know, it's so embarrassing to I'll never forget this. I go to check into the hotel. And they you need a credit card to check into a hotel. I didn't have one. I didn't have a credit card. And I had to call him and it was so embarrassing. I go Kenny, I don't have a credit card to check into the hotel. He goes, No worries. He called the hotel. He totally took care of it. He's like, I'm taking care of the hotel for her. Put it on this credit card. And so I went to a dinner. And I sat next to a gentleman who owns a print company where they do print and packaging. And he asked me at the dinner, what do you do? And I said, Well, I was an actress. And then I sold real estate. And I said and then you know when the market crash. Basically my market was done. And so now I'm looking for a job and he goes well, if you can sell real estate, you can sell print. I said are you offering me a job? And he said, Well, we could do a test and see. He said are you good with people?
Unknown Speaker 19:47
I said yeah,
Marcy Predmore 19:48
that actually that was a great message to you.
Deborah Driggs 19:52
Well, by the way, because now I'm realizing that I am attracting a certain type of business. Yeah. The business of taking care of People, yes. And that said, it doesn't matter where whether I'm selling the house, whether I'm selling print, whether I'm selling life insurance, I'm taking care of people. It's all about people. It's all about the client. So he said, Are you good with people? And I said, Actually, yes, I'm really good with people. And he said, in my business, it's all about setting up meetings. And if you can set the meeting meetings up, I'll go with you, and my product sells itself. And then on during the meetings, you'll learn more and more about what we do. And I was getting it, you know. And so what happened was, he said, I'll tell you what, if you can set up 10 meetings, I'll put you on a draw. And so then, of course, I was like, well, what's a draw? And he said, a draw is money that you'll get up front every month, that goes against your commissions. I said, Oh, my God, I love that. So it's kind of like I'm on salary, but then I gotta pay you back through my commission. He goes, Yeah, I go, I'll do it. He goes, set up the meetings. So I set up 10 meetings within 48 hours. Because once he told me who his target client was, who he really wanted to meet, but he hadn't met so far, those are the people I went after I said, Well, I can get us into that company. He goes, you can? And I said, Yeah, I can. And so I set up the 10 meetings, and I had a really good job in New York, I ended up moving to New York, I had a friend that let me stay in her apartment for two months rent free to get my feet going, get get my momentum going get my feet on the ground, so to speak. Yeah. And so I had all these little angels, you know, that were just on my team now. Yeah. And so God bless her, you know, she, I had this great little apartment, I was able to, you know, work in New York. And that, literally, that experience of living and working in New York, changed everything. Because I really got a quick education in business in New York. And if you can do business in New York, you can do business anywhere. And that is the hard truth right there. Because New York is really difficult. Environment sometimes
Marcy Predmore 22:21
is is a struggle. And as you're sharing this story with me, Deborah, and it's just just because of one of the questions I ask is, what does success mean to you? I think you are, you're describing right now, it's not an overnight success, but you're describing your success. And what it really meant to you were really resonated with you. Yeah.
Deborah Driggs 22:47
Yeah, success is a really interesting question. Because if you would have asked me that question, 10 years ago, it would have been monetary, it would have been about what I could get, get get get. Yeah, it would have been about achieving, to get something to make more money would have been a monetary answer. And today, it's completely the opposite. You know, success for me is so simple. It's waking up every day, saying, Thank you.
Marcy Predmore 23:23
I love it.
Deborah Driggs 23:24
Thank you, I get one more day, in this beautiful environment in this beautiful city that I live in, and this on this beautiful planet, I get to experience one more day. Yeah. And you know, I keep it really simple like that I, I really am truly grateful. Because I don't think I know really, actually, I know that if, if, if I'm not in gratitude, if I don't start the day off, finding something in my environment, or in my space that I'm completely grateful for. The day is gonna go south. Absolutely. And I just saw that success for me is waking up and being in gratitude. And knowing that no matter what happens throughout my day, and things happen, let me tell you, we all know, to know that I now have a really big box of tools, where 10 years ago, I did not have that box. I love
Marcy Predmore 24:25
that description to have your toolbox your toolbox of life. And you know, I dear friend, I mentioned this often and he used to tell me, if you're not growing Marcy, you're dying. Totally. It's so true. It's so true. If you don't first of all wake up with with a gratitude attitude. But second of all, if you don't grow you in some days, it might hurt just a little bit. But if you're not growing, you're dying. I love that, that. So let me ask you that. So that we've got two big questions. So we're just gonna Get those out of the way, because I've got a couple other questions. Sure. Access, which we just got to hear some of that journey and feel the passion of that. Yeah. But the next question, it's a broad question, but because you're in the financial industry and the entertainment industry, what does wealth mean to you, Deborah?
Deborah Driggs 25:22
Again, great question. And that has completely changed. 10 years ago, even even two years ago, I would have said, wealth would have been the big house. Yes. A private jet. Yeah. So 20 vacations a year, you know, millions of dollars, but it's not. wealth, to me now. Is contribute contribution. growth, learning. Doing this inspiring, being inspired? Absolutely. The love of my three children makes me a very wealthy woman. Yes, yes, I know, my, my definition of wealth has completely changed. Because I know a lot of people with a lot of money, I'm in proximity of those people. And they're not wealthy. According to my definition, they're not wealthy. They're very depleted. Now, you know, so I, wealth to me is having my health, having my love in my heart, having food, you know, and having my friends in my life, you know, having my angels, my mentors, my coaches, my family, that makes me wealthy.
Marcy Predmore 26:47
You bet. And, and, you know, I think so many people get, they get lost or wrapped up in what Yeah, ditional word means, what wealth means traditionally, I'll just put it that way. And you know what money is okay. One of the things that Deborah and I both do in the industries that we are in, is we really help people to strategize and navigate wealth, wealth,
Deborah Driggs 27:15
absolutely. No, money is amazing. Money is so beautiful money is this beautiful spiritual game, it's, it's really, uh, you know, that's how I look at it now money for me as a spiritual game. It's coming, it's going, it's abundant. It's, it's, you know, worthy. It's, it's helpful. It's contributing constantly. It's giving me opportunities to help save children's lives or save horses lives. You know, it's, it's an opportunity, money is an opportunity. Money has a totally different bigger definition to me know, when you what money means. To me what wealth means to me now is so much more that it's limitless is what it is. Right. Right. Limitless, the limitless possibilities is what money provides.
Marcy Predmore 28:13
Yes. And I, and I just really love that piece. Because, yes, money is a piece of that. But But again, what you and I do in the world of strategy is we help people look at that what we call the 30,000 foot view, where we can actually look into their lives. If somebody would have looked into your life at 40. At 44. They maybe would have thought, oh, gosh, I don't know. Do the same with me a few years in mind. But no, I love doing the 30,000 foot view. And just helping them to understand where are they in, in their wealth strategy, and not all money, family, legacy business, exiting businesses and those types of things. So I just really wanted to hear your success and your wealth, because you been from one end of the spectrum to the other. And it just it's just a joy to hear that piece.
Deborah Driggs 29:18
Yeah, it's, yeah, it's so super interesting. Because I think for a long time I used to, you know, my prayer would be, you know, Dear God, just let me have enough money to get through the school years. Let me get my kids through college, you know, and I would limit myself so much and I would just want to get by just, I'll take a little apartment, and I'll take crumbs if I can get my kids through school, you know, and I would limit myself because that's what I thought I deserved. And then now my prayers are like, God, just let me be a part of the abundance that's all around me. I know let me just enjoy this limitless possibility. have freedom and health and you know, and it's like it's much more open and expanding and not so limited to like, I'm only deserving of this, okay, I'll just take this crumb, and I'll make the best of it. And that's what I'm deserving of. It's like no dead, like, you know, and for some reason, that's those were my limiting beliefs. And I think that's what I grew up with. I didn't grow up with entrepreneurs. I didn't grow up with money. Yeah, I grew up very under middle class, you know, very, like, we're going to get by on crumbs. And so when you grow up that way, that's what you think you deserve. I saw people go to work Monday through Friday, eight to five, and say things like, Oh, my God, it's Friday. Thank God. Yeah. Oh, my God, it's Monday again. You know, I, I grew up in that cycle. Yes. That's all I saw. I didn't see people going, I'm going to build I'm going to create. I didn't have those mentors. Yes, yes. I had a family that nobody really graduated from college. Nobody, really, nobody was really interested in what I did in school. Nobody said, you know, you could be a doctor, you could be a lawyer, you could you could own your own business, you could do this, you could do that it was all about just get a job with benefits. Yes.
Marcy Predmore 31:28
And I can't tell you how many times I've heard that story. Because so many times we fall into the traditional pattern, as I say, is you grew up in a certain environment which you were sharing about the city of New York, you know, you grew up in an environment, that's the way you're supposed to be well, that's the way my mother, that's where my grandparents were, that's where my siblings are. But no, you got to break out of that. So you mentioned the word. And it's just one of my favorite questions to ask, because the more you help other people get what they need and want the abundance just goes to eat everyone involved in in whatever the situation is. So tell me a little bit about mentors that have molded your life do any?
Deborah Driggs 32:19
Absolutely, absolutely. So I grew up figure skating. I got on the ice at the age of five, and then got really serious around eight and nine years old, where I started getting up at 4am. Skating before school and after school, and that became my life. Yeah, my coaches were my first mentors. They were the first people in my three coaches skated with Doug Chapman, Darlene Dyer, and Kathy steel. And they all had specific roles in my life. And I learned really hard lessons at a young age from these three people in my life. And I really looked up to them, they, they were the entrepreneurs. Those were the three first entrepreneurs in my life, they were doing something that they loved. And so when I look back, I those that was my first introduction into mentors and coaches. And then when I got when I left high school, which I barely graduated high school, I literally I had to beg to graduate and that teacher gave me a D minus, so I didn't have to come back. And I got into college, and I made the cheerleading squad at this college in Orange County that I was going to go to. But when she got my transcript, she called me into her office said this my second mentor. And she said, your grades are not acceptable. And you're you can't be on the squad. And I said, I had a really tough senior year, you know, as a great, great storyteller. And you know, it, it was the way it was a lie, but it was also true. Does that make sense? So that was my way of like saying to her look, I had a really tough time. I barely went to school, but I'm really smart. And if you just let me stay on the squad, you know, I I will do really well. And she I took me I had to convince her Her name was Betty, Cher. She was the head of the dance and squad department. lovely woman. And she said I'm going to put you on probation. And do you know that because I had this in my life. I ended up being on the Dean's list. I got all A's my first semester at college. Oh, yeah. Because I had somebody now I was accountable to and somebody cared. Right. When I was in high school. Nobody cared. I didn't have I my teachers came to school drunk. I mean, I had a very strange high school experience. And so I didn't have counselors. I didn't even know what the essay To use for, that's how I started college was, I didn't know. And I went to a junior college and it was almost like an extension of high school. But I didn't know anybody because I left Los Angeles and I moved down south. And so I didn't know anybody. And this was a much more middle class, neighborhood and more affluent homes and money and you know, as a more affluent neighborhood, right. And so now I was mixing with a whole different group of people. And, and so she gave me that chance. So she was definitely one of my first mentors. And then, you know, when I got into the entertainment world, I had agents, yes. And people that were guiding me, but the real, the real mentor that stood out to me was this casting director. And it must have been around 1989 88, or 89. And I was brought in to read for a big part on a TV show called Charles in Charge with Scotty bail. Yeah. And I go to read for the part. And at this point, I had done quite a few commercials and a lot of modeling. And I, I've been going steady for since 1984. And so I was brought in to read for Charles in Charge. And I walked in I gabbed with I think his name was Melvin, I'll have to look it up. But anyway. So funny that I'm even remembering this, but he brought me in and, and when I got up to read, I got maybe one or a minute and a half into it. And he said, Stop. He said, Come here, girl Sit down. And he said, when you walked into my office, I would have hired you on the spot, because you're exactly the look. You're exactly the personality that we're looking for. He said, But girl, you need to learn how to act, get to didn't have my acting skills. I was really good at commercials. And I was really good at being funny and all that. But I didn't really know how to audition well, and I didn't. So he said, go learn how to act because you're going to have a career. And so I did that day, I see. And I would take that kind of direction seriously. So I went that day
and joined a two year Meisner acting technique. Who, by the way, I'm still in touch with those people today. But those became my mentors was him and my acting coaches. So you know, I think throughout my life, there have been those people that pop in and I didn't back then I wasn't calling them mentors or coaches. No looking, looking back. Those were definitely my mentors and people that I looked up to and people that I respected and people that were doing things that I wanted to do. It's funny, because one of the things I tell people all the time is Be really careful who you share your stuff with. One. A lot of the times, and this happened to me because I have people in my family that you know, when I would share things like I'm going to be a model or whatever. And they tell me all the reasons why I can't do it. Not because they don't believe that I can, because they can't see it for themselves. Absolutely, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. So and so it's their fear not mine. Yeah. So when people cannot see it for themselves, they're not going to see it for you. And you can't take it personally, you just have to say, Okay, so the people that I really listened to, and really try to follow in the footsteps are the people that are doing the things that I want to do. Yes, why would I listen to anybody else? I'm going to listen to people that have done it. Because success leaves clues. So sleeves, that you know you and by the way, why do I don't need to reinvent the wheel I all I have to do is see success leaves clues. And when you're listening over here, you're missing all the clues to where you want to go. So you don't want to you want to be really careful who you're taking your advice from who you're allowing to give you. Why would I take advice for example, you and I both know this. If I if I want to get health advice, or I want a doctor to be in my life to help me with my wellness program. I'm not going to choose somebody that looks tired. Maybe is a little heavy in their weight that you know, I'm going to choose somebody that I want to be like, yes, you went so they want to go you want to go to a dentist to have them work on your teeth and they have really bad teeth. Yeah, it's like you have to be the example of what Yeah, you want in your life. And so you know you Same thing with trainers and the people that I choose in my life are doing something that I want to do. Right. And that's why they're in my life. And then, yes, I find myself sometimes slipping, though back into where that comfort zone is where it's like, I can hear myself negotiating something like well, they they mean well, and then I'm like, Oh my god, listen to what you're thinking or saying right now. That's a negotiation. And it goes against what you really believe over here. Yes, absolutely. But think about it. How many times do you say, Well, you know that they mean, well, but yeah, but they're going through a hard time. Yeah. But then you're the justification. And the negotiations are crazy. Those things take you off your purpose. Yesterday, so I catch it all the time. Now. I'm like, wow, here it goes. You know, yeah, I'm trying to justify something. That's,
Marcy Predmore 40:55
that's exactly. And you know, what? The buzz word is out there in the last Well, for me 10 years, probably. But to be or to hang out with, like minds. Exactly, really means to me is I want to be with people like you who are charging forward, but you, you failed. But your success is your failure. And so many people forget that the journey is what created the success. So we stumbled along the way in certain areas, maybe we didn't have money, or we lost a job, are we whatever that is, yep. The more you're with like minds, they're going to stand at the finish line cheering you Come on, we want you to join us. Other people do want to bring you down to their level sometimes.
Deborah Driggs 41:47
And that's Yeah, so you definitely need cheerleaders in your life. Yes. So you need the mentors, you need the coaches and mentors and coaches are a little bit different mentors are like you and I get this is right, you know, we would have a mentor in our financial world, right? That's different from a coach, a coach is going to give us to do things that are difficult and hard and other areas. And mentors are going to help us when we have problems in finance or in life insurance. I'm going to go to somebody that knows more than me, that's a mentor and life insurance. And then you've got to have cheerleaders. You've got to have people going, Oh, my God, I'm watching what you're doing. And you're so inspiring. And, yes, that's the beauty of social media. Right? Yeah. Because you get Pete, you get feedback right away, if you post something, and people go, Oh, my God, thank you that inspired me so much today and right. You know if that's it's funny, because I was like, how am I going to use social media? Because it's really I'm in this really weird, kind of, do I use it? Because I was an actress? Or do I use it to inspire? Or do I do both? And where's that into find that kind of that niche? You know, like, where is it, but I'm finding that when I post things that are really meaningful, and I really write from my heart, that's when people really respond. And I think that's what's really needed right now. I know that during the pandemic, is when I really sat with myself and thought, Okay, well, here we go again, you know, it felt like 2008 for me, you know, those are the feelings that came up for me the little anxiety of like, Oh, God, am I gonna have to start all over again. And exactly, you know, because, you know, my business took a hit, you know, and so I thought, well, I'm gonna read a book, because a lot of people were saying, Well, yeah, but it'll work. It always works out for you. Right. And I thought, it doesn't always work out for me, you know, but I just love that people have that much confidence in me, or that's the way they see me. They don't know the backstory. So I thought, why not write about the backstory? Yes, yeah, no. And so, because sometimes when I talk about a few things that have happened to me, people go, Wow, what that happens, and I'm like,
Marcy Predmore 43:56
yeah, yeah. Many people, they perceive what they see from the outside looking in, exactly I shared earlier. And that's where I really want people to understand that you might think your ordinary, you might think that this journey that you are, whether you're 2030 4050, or 60 or older, you know what, you're truly extraordinary, because you took the next step, you decided to pivot, instead of stop, you decided to go fire someone where you are that achieved what you want to achieve.
Deborah Driggs 44:33
Exactly. And I my question is when anybody comes to me or ask me, my opinion, or my advice, and that happens sometimes, you know, which is a good thing. It's also a very big compliment. But when that does happen, I say Well, did you try? And they'll go, yeah, I go, then you're about 80% ahead of the game. Right? Right. You just stay on your path. It'll all work out because 80% of the people don't even try you You know, they just kind of stay here. Right? And so, you know, are they stop here or they stop, you know, they, it gets too hard. And that's, I think that's what separates people that you know, keep going because even when it's hard, we're like, okay, it's getting really uncomfortable. It's getting hard. It's getting hot in here. What do I do? Right? Okay, I can feel that feeling. And it's that feeling and then people go, Yeah, that's good. I'll just stay over here. Yeah. And people, they keep going go through that. And that's the hard part. Yeah. Because we're everybody gets to that. This, everything's moving along swimmingly. And you're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when it gets to that place, and any any entrepreneur, successful athletes, successful actors, everybody knows that you get to that place. Yeah, that's absolutely fine. It starts to get like, Oh, God, I don't know if I'm gonna keep going. Oh, I think I want to stop now. Yeah. And then that's the that's what differentiates the whole game right there. Because most people will stop right there. Yes. And just go back to a comfort zone where it feels comfortable, because they never get into that uncomfortable area. And I've been, let me tell you, I've been in that uncomfortable area quite a few times. Yes. And so because of that, I'm not saying that it's great. It's not it's really difficult. And it's hard. But because I've been in that uncomfortable areas, so many times where like, literally, I was brought to my knees and I'm like, Okay, what do I need to surrender today? I gotta surrender to keep going through it. Right. And you know, it's like those. That's why I said, my toolbox today is a little bit bigger than it was 10 years ago, 10 years ago, I had a fuel a few tools, things that I were things that I was good at. But now I have the sustainable tools, right? I have the sustainable tools to which, when that big thing comes in whatever it is, that's gonna make me go, Oh, God, here comes Yeah, that's it. I go. I know what this is. It's okay. Is it by the way, it's happening for me quite a bit right now. Because I'm, I'm in one of those transitions, where I'm pulling out of my life insurance business. And I'm starting to go into the book, podcast, writing blogs, which scares me half to death, and going into a different career. And I don't know how many times a day, I tell myself, Why don't know why you're doing that. Just you have a great job. And you do well, in life insurance. Why are you trying to? Why are you trying to now? Just stay in the comfortable space you have? Everything is working. Why? You know, right? That tape recorder really likes to play. So I get it. You know, I get it when people are like, yeah, just get uncomfortable. And I just don't want to change. And I think starting over is the hardest thing for anybody. And, you know, I'm This is why I'm writing a book because I had to do it at 40. I had to do it at 45. I had to do it at 50. I'm doing it at 57. Yeah, there's no one to iron out. By the way, three years ago when I started to really like, you know how you have a thought. And then you go on to old? Yeah, I immediately shut down the thought of what I'm doing now.
Marcy Predmore 48:36
Deborah Driggs 48:39
So I sat on that thought for about a year before I did anything about it, because I kept saying I'm too old. too old to start over. I'm tired. Yeah, no,
Marcy Predmore 48:49
I just have a tip for everybody. If that little nagging voice won't leave you alone, a mentor of mine used to just say speak it out loud. Or if you're in a room full of people, and you're afraid of what they'll think of you. But just say cancel, cancel, just cancel out the thought. So you can then replenish or change the station. Exactly. And maybe be your own cheerleader and
Deborah Driggs 49:17
change the station. And and you know, for me, I could just say this with, like, 100% of like, I've really had to think about this a lot. And now I wake up every day and I go, life's just getting started. That's right. I'm 57 It's a new day. That's right. What happened yesterday is gone. Right? And I have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow. Yes. So guess what? Today is a new day and I get to start all over? Oh my gosh.
Marcy Predmore 49:48
Yeah. Yeah. And that is you know what, and we are we're drawing to our close and that is a great place to close because what you're hearing Deborah say What I've been listening and hearing her say is, take the next step, you go as far as you can see, and you know what, when you get there, you can see a little bit further. And Deborah, your story has been so intriguing because you've gone as far as you can see. And there were times where you wanted to put the covers over your head. I did. Now I can see a little bit further, because you were walking a dog or you went to a dinner party or your kids in school, whatever that may be. I just hope that your encouragement will help someone one person today to really understand how extraordinary they truly are. Also, that's so beautiful. And I you know, it's
Deborah Driggs 50:48
interesting that you said one person, I say that all the time when people say, Well, why are you doing this step? Why are you doing this? And I go, because if I can help one person, if there's one person out there right now, that's sitting in a room with their covers pulled over head or his covers, and they're thinking I can't start over? I can't do it. I don't know where to begin. Yes. I did it. Yeah, I was there. Yes, I absolutely did it. I mean, I can tell you, we don't have time, but I did a lot of odd jobs.
Marcy Predmore 51:21
Oh, you owe his sister. Yeah, I worked three and four jobs just to make ends meet. So yeah,
Deborah Driggs 51:28
so I do have it happens. Just know that get up and be of service. If you are feeling so low today. If you feel like there's no, there's nothing in the future. If you feel like you can't let go of the past. Here's my suggestion, get up and go take out the trash.
Marcy Predmore 51:48
Change your environment,
Deborah Driggs 51:49
and then take out somebody else's trash Varia go, Oh, yeah, it'll change your life out. Deborah.
Marcy Predmore 51:56
Thank you. And I was gonna ask for a tip. But I think that's the tip is
Deborah Driggs 52:01
that is be of service to somebody else. Get out of your head, though. As somebody Yes. Somebody in your life right now. Do you need help with something? Can I help you with something that will start a whole energetic change that you won't even believe that's what us doing that one thing. It'll change everything.
Marcy Predmore 52:21
I love it. Well, and I just thank you so much for being with us. And thank you, everyone in the audience. You, son, ordinary women. Extraordinary. Well,
Deborah Driggs 52:31
thank you and you guys can follow me out, you can come to my website, and you can send me notes at Deborah Driggs calm. And I have a page where people can send me notes and I'll respond. And then I'm also on Instagram, at Deborah Driggs notes too. Perfect, wonderful.
Marcy Predmore 52:51
Yes. Because I really would encourage you to reach out to Deborah, I think I think there's somebody out there that those stories resonated. And that's what I tell people all the time again, if one person heard something that intrigued them or encouraged them, we just hope that you would reach out because I would love to have you on ordinary women extraordinary wealth to share your story. So I hope everybody has an extraordinary day.
Janay Harris 53:21
You've been listening to ordinary women extraordinary wealth with Marcy Predmore-McPhee. Be sure to drop us a line if you're enjoying the podcast. As we always love hearing from our listeners. Let us know what you think by looking us up at ordinary women extraordinary wealth.com or on social media where you can join our private group on Facebook called ordinary women extraordinary wealth. If you'd like to connect with Marcy on LinkedIn, you can find her by going to linkedin.com forward slash i n forward slash Marcy dash Predmore-McPhee. Also, it would really mean so much to us if you would leave us a five star review on your favorite podcast platform. If you found this episode valuable. Be sure to share it with your friends and colleagues. And remember, we publish new episodes every Wednesday, so be sure to subscribe. See you next week.